Today I begin my prescription of Chantix, a costly stop smoking pill. I have quit before by just using the patch, but it seems harder to do this time around, so I chose this "miracle" drug called Chantix.

I took my first pill this morning and so far the worst I have gotten was slight nausea. A little bit of food cured that quickly. But there are some extreme side effects that are likely; suicidal thoughts, depression, aggressive behavior, etc. Thus I would like all of you to kind of monitor me for the next few weeks. Stay in touch, ask how I am doing, talk to the girls and see if they are noticing any changes. They will be the first to know and will be my most vigilant protectors.

I am not really worried about it much, but it is better to let everyone know what is going on and even better to chronicle the experience here in order to monitor changes in mood or behavior.

I received this from a friend:

The Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
 A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
 of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
 mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the
 students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
  The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar
 He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the
 golf balls... He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
 agreed it was.
 The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
 course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
 was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' 
 The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the
 entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the
 sand. The students laughed. 
 Now, said the professor as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize
 that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important
 things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your
 favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained,
 your life would still be full. 
 The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and
 your car. 
 The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the
 jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
 balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time & energy on the
 small stuff you'll never have room for the truly important things.
 'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time
 with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents.
 Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
 another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
 disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
 Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.' 
 One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

 The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' 
 The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's
 always room for a couple of Beers with a friend. (Or a cup of coffee, a movie, game of pool, cards, a song etc.)

I figure I will go to Hell if I do NOT post this, but it will be uncomfortable. I also figure I will be going to Hell if I DO post this, but at least I will be more comfortable.


( Do not read if you are easily offended. Seriously! )

The New Year has finally arrived and it is once again time to reflect back on the past year. To determine what went wrong and more importantly, what went right.

 

Several things have happened to me over the past year and I am making a list of them now so that I can go back at a later date and remember how truly blessed I am.

1)      I found my passion again, my passion for life. I had gotten stuck in a negative viewpoint and merely existed for a while there. Once I rid myself of the negative influences and took steps to do what truly makes me happy, I got the wonderful side effect of becoming passionate again about many things I had neglected, including myself. In turn this has lead me to love my friends even more than I have in the past, to truly care deeply for them. I realize now how important these people are to me and what a wonderful impact they make in my life.

2)      I spent the past year watching my wife make new discoveries about herself and grow stronger in the process. Her strength as a woman continues to amaze me and when faced with hard times she manages to still be there for me and our little girl. She gives unselfishly to us and others while neglecting herself. This past year I have watched her change so that she continues to give unselfishly and still manages to not neglect herself. She reminds me every day of why I fell in love with her in the first place. Our love for each other has grown and our relationship has become so strong.

3)      My little girl has grown up so much and is now her own little person with little person feelings, thoughts, emotions and attitude. It is amazing to experience her development and to actually get to know our new roommate. As far as roommates go, she is the worst one I have ever had. She doesn’t have a job, she doesn’t contribute to the bills, she is constantly leaving a mess and seldom bothers to help with the chores. She is bossy, emotional and won’t let anyone watch what they want on TV. In fact, if she wasn’t so damn entertaining we would have tossed her butt out in the street months ago. Lucky she is so cute.

4)      We added another member to our family, and waterkin, who has been nothing short of outstanding to us. She cares deeply for us and our little roommate and goes to great lengths to show us just how much she loves us. She has added a new dimension to our family, one we did not realize we were missing but now are so happy to have. Spending time with her this past year has helped us become better people because we learned so much about ourselves through her. She has enriched our lives so much and we are indebted to her for that. She has helped our family understand that love is much bigger than any single one of us and that with love comes hurt, and with hurt comes healing. We love her so very much and we are so very blessed to share our lives with her.

5)      I have continued with my schooling the entire year and have not given up. Slowly but surely I am inching my way towards the degree and I am actually having fun doing it. It has helped me immensely with my own work and has made my job so much more enjoyable. It has given me a purpose and yet another passion. My only fear is that I will be going to school for the rest of my life much like my mother has. As much as I enjoy it, I am going to go broke if I keep it up for too long.

6)      This past year I discovered that by trying to spiritually accommodate as many people as possible, I was hurting myself and in turn, doing no one else any favors. Towards the end of last year, I removed myself from certain negative influences that were preventing me from being passionate about my spirituality as I had been for so long. Ridding myself of the garbage awakened my faith once again and has made me spiritually happy. I have a good support team now between my Gods and my spiritual family. I may have neglected them in the past, but they have never neglected me.

7)      With the help of my family, especially the little roommate, I have learned to view life a little different and I can now appreciate the beauty that it has to offer. For so long I thought I had been, but a whole new dimension has opened up for me and I have learned not to take myself so seriously, because no one else does. I have discovered that I am human and so is everyone else. And with that humanity there are flaws. I am now able to accept those flaws about myself and others and actually LOVE someone BECAUSE of their flaws.

8)      This past year has taught me how important spending time with my family is, both blood and extended. I love these people and they love me because of my flaws. They accept me for myself and they enjoy being around me. In turn, I enjoy being around them as well. No matter what the world throws at me, they are there and they can help me or celebrate with me. And I actually enjoy helping them and celebrating their special moments. Jobs change, houses change, cars change, but the bonds I have created over the past year are constant. That security is a wonderful feeling.

Overall, 2008 was a turning point in my life. It catapulted me into my new future without my permission. But I am not complaining. I have found love, family and spirituality. But more importantly…I have found happiness.

 

My goals for 2009 are simple:

To love, laugh and learn more.

For those of you seeking to know, allow me to invite you into the recent events taking place in my life:

 

I have been busy with school and have my final exam tomorrow. I am not sure I will pass this semester, I am just under passing as it is. This test will either make or break me. So tonight I shall give it the old college try (pun intended) and study until my eyes bleed in order to pass my exam.

 

And speaking of bleeding eyes and exams, last week I bought myself a new skateboard. Something I have wanted for a long time. I took it out that night to a skate park just to get use to it. At first I was doing just fine, skating around and loving the fluid motion of my new purchase. Then I decided I was comfortable enough to skate down one of the ramps in the park. That is pretty much the last thing I remember. According to thegreenyear , I made it down the ramp and then suddenly went face first into the concrete. I lay there in a pool of blood while she came running to my rescue. Had it not been for her, I may have just laid there in my own blood for several hours.

 

The aftermath, amnesia and nine fractures in my face, including a crushed cheekbone. I have had two CT scans done and now we have to talk to our ENT about going into surgery this week to repair the cheekbone as well as some of the other fractures.

 

I look much better than I did that night, but I will I will end up with a few sweet little facial scars for my adventure. momtothefey  and thegreenyear are doing a wonderful job taking care of me and assuring me that I am no uglier now than before the accident.

 

Speaking of momtothefey , I am continuously amazed at her ability to speak with the doctors and hold her own. She is my interpreter when I go to the doctor, because I get very lost when they start talking to me about medical type stuff.  momtothefey  not only understands it, but is able to talk to them in their own language with me just sitting in the corner with a blank stare. I trust her knowledge of the human body and her understanding of both pharmaceuticals and homeopathic remedies. She has saved my ass on numerous occasions.

My child is growing by leaps and bounds. She has gotten into the habit of taking her diaper off at night, thus wetting the bed. We hope to end that tonight with the one piece pajamas we bought her. Wish us luck.

 I got a nice visit from s00j  and omnisti  on Friday night and we had a nice relaxing time. Then the next night Matt and Shelby stopped by and brought us the tastiest sushi we have ever eaten. We are lucky to have such good friends.

And speaking of luck, this past week as shown me just how blessed I am. I have a wonderful family, both blood and waterkin. They are incredible people and I cannot express my love for them enough. I hope that others are as lucky as I am to have such joyous relationships.

 

 OK, now off to study…

 

 

As a huge Movie Buff, I am disappointed that I have not seen all of these...

This is the list of the top 100 grossing movies of all time. Bold what you've seen.

Titanic (1997)
The Dark Knight (2008)
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Shrek 2 (2004)
E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Spider-Man (2002)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Jurassic Park (1993)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Forrest Gump (1994)
The Lion King (1994)
Shrek the Third (2007)
Transformers (2007)
Iron Man (2008)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Independence Day (1996)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Home Alone (1990)
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Shrek (2001)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
The Incredibles (2004)
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Jaws (1975)

I Am Legend (2007)
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Batman (1989)
Night at the Museum (2006)

Men in Black (1997)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Toy Story 2 (1999)
Cars (2006)
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Twister (1996)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
War of the Worlds (2005)
Cast Away (2000)
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Signs (2002)
Hancock (2008)
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Rush Hour 2 (2001)
WALL-E (2008)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
King Kong (2005)
Ghost (1990)
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Aladdin (1992)
Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Mission: Impossible 2 (2000)
Kung Fu Panda (2008)
X2: X-Men United (2003)
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Back to the Future (1985)
300 (2006)
Wedding Crashers (2005)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Ratatouille (2007)
Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Batman Begins (2005)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Exorcist (1973)
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Armageddon (1998)
Superman Returns (2006)
Gone With the Wind (1939)
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Happy Feet (2006)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
Madagascar (2005)
Toy Story (1995)
Men in Black II (2002)
Gladiator (2000)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Just a quick note to let everyone know that life is good with me and I am happy. I had fun tonight and tomorrow I will talk to Dave about getting my tattoo. I am excited...

....as should you be. :-)

My heart aches now...I will spend the weekend remembering and reminiscing. Thank you guys for making my teen years unforgettable. I will pass on your music to a new generation.

08.21.08 – Dead Kennedys Announce Indefinite Touring Hiatus

August 21, 2008 - Dead Kennedys sadly announce that the band will no longer be touring in the foreseeable future due to health related issues of bassist Klaus Flouride and drummer D.H. Peligro.

Klaus comments, "Over the years, I have had the great fortune to have been a founding member of Dead Kennedys. It's been tough at times but it's also been particularly rewarding working and collaborating with men like Biafra, D.H., 6025, Brandon, Jeff, Ted, Dave, Steve, Skip and especially Ray. And to all those who I have met over the years - thank you."

Though unable to do major tours, Klaus will continue to perform and collaborate in local projects. Guitarist East Bay Ray, and vocalist Skip - from the Wynona Riders, who sang on Dead Kennedys' last two tours, will
continue working together writing songs and performing under a new band name.

Earlier this year, in May 2008, Dead Kennedys were awarded a Gold Record in both the United States and the United Kingdom for "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death." "In God We Trust, Inc" was also certified Gold in the United Kingdom. This is significant achievement because the recordings were all released on independent labels.

On Dead Kennedys' recent UK and Californian tours, the audience reception was enthusiastic and genuine (including two new songs performed by the band). Thanks to those that came to those shows and for their encouragement.

Here is a video I made about four years ago. thegreenyear convinced me to put it on YouTube. So now, here your enjoyment, I present to you...

"The Scare"

Today I did something I have never done in my entire life (that I can remember). Thus today shall be marked in my journal as going down in history.

For the first time ever....


....I performed ritual in shorts.


Whodathunkit?


I would never have believed I would have done that.

Inspired (stolen) from evaelisabeth


Barrack for President 2008

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7416120.stm

Who said politics wasn't fun?

Truth be told, I wouldn't buy a car just to get a gun.

...I would just go buy the gun.

When

momtothefey and I bought our house, we had planned on having making the two bedrooms upstairs into a nursery and an office, while we slept in the downstairs master bedroom. After all, isn’t that what normal people do?

 

 

Practicality being what it is, we have found that the arrangement does not suit our current lifestyle. Thus we have chosen to make a few unusual changes.

 

• We are going to finish the nursery as planned.
• We are going to move our bedroom into the upstairs bedroom next to the nursery, what currently is being used as our office.
• The office will be moved downstairs into the master bedroom and we will be using it as our temple/circle as well. This gives us a lot more room for ritual without having to move all the furniture around.

 

Therefore, the only time we need to go upstairs is when we are going to be going to bed. 

 

I am willing looking forward to having the computers downstairs (except that Tree Faerie will need to be wrangled better) so that I can work on the computer and still spend time with the family.

 

Yes, this weekend will be filled with lots of painting, moving, drinking and bitching…and maybe even a little sex if we can get around to it. 

(It had been way to long for me to go without having a sex tag)

 

 

I am a little behind in posting due to all the fantastic goodness that has been happening.

 

First and foremost, momtothefey and I had a wonderful time at PUF, as usual. Good weather, good people and good food. I got to sees00j and actually spend some time with her…that was worth the entire drive out there.

 

Others things I did at PUF

• ·         I hung out by the “party fire” one night
• ·         spent a lot of time with Tree Faerie (dancing, walking and laughing)
• ·         fell in love with my wife a thousand times over while beaming with pride at her utter coolness
• ·         gave my workshop on Men’s Mysteries
• ·         had some good times with marius_98, Trevor and Daniel
• ·         spent too little time with thegreenyear but still got the chance to have fun
• ·         got flogged by a chainmail scourge (thank you)
• ·         got to give a lapdance to my ex-wife’s current boyfriend (had to say it that way…just sounds cooler)
• ·         danced for hours with Mama Dragon and Kiyara (the other two founders of SG) which we haven’t done in over a decade
• ·         took cold showers while others took hot baths
• ·         learned a lot about what I truly want
• ·         went the whole weekend without wearing underwear
• ·         chaffed in a fragile spot
• ·         spoke with dozens of women about their views on men
• ·         heard great news about Jonathan
• ·         spent some good times and good conversations with Kat
• ·         meet Christopher Penzak (who probably now thinks I am a homophobe)
• ·         had good conversations with Murv and Dorothy
• ·         met and/or reconnected with some really cool people like, thorgryn, hps_sterling and popelizbet to name a few
  

 

And that was just this past weekend. I have a few more things to catch you guys up on when I get the chance…

 

…see you guys next year!

 

 

No shit, there I was, as my sweetie inkygrrl is prone to saying, going out for lunch with the guys this past Monday. They headed out before me because I had some work to catch up on. Thus I arrive at our choice fast-food palace about 10 minutes after them. It was before noon and the lunch rush had not yet begun, so I was able to walk straight up to the counter to place my order. I was still undecided on whether to get the healthy salad or the unhealthy Philly Cheesesteak. As I approached my order taker, I made jokes about whether she had any opinion on me eating healthy or not…she did not laugh. So I cracked a few more one-liners and still nothing, just staring straight ahead at me like I was wasting her time. Fine, fuck it little “miss-no-sense-of-humor”, I will stop wasting your time, place my order and let you get back to your drab little existence.
 

 

As a side note, I spilled Spot Remover on my dog and he vanished.

Here are some lyrics from a song I grew up with. The song was very relevant at the time and it is scary to think of all the ways those days could have gone.

( All I want is a Pepsi... )

In other news, school is out and things are pretty quiet around here. Got to see my lovely last night for a bit and enjoyed every minute. Tonight she will be coming by to join us for pizza and Doctor Who. Ah, the simple pleasures in life.

(as a side note...I noticed that when first writing the above sentence I wrote "Dr. Who" and for some reason that bothered me so much I had to change it to "Doctor Who". Is my OCD rearing it's ugly head again? Will I be straightening out straws at Starbucks next?)

Saturday will be spent working on the Jeep, spending time with my mother and family, building Pandas from carpet, harassing lovers at their place of business, and taking pictures of random people, places and things.

Sunday will invole preparing for my workshop, cleaning the house, scaring the child (good fun when  I can get away with it) and working on websites.

PUF will soon be here and I will get to see a lot of friends. I will also be fucking with the two PUF virgins that will be coming from my camp.

Good times people, good times....

I have been trying to tell some people just how lucky they are, sexually speaking.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19374216/

Of course, I firmly believe the numbers would be substantially higher if the survey had been taken at a Pagan Festival.

...then again, maybe not.

(EDIT: For liars and dreamers, I present another take on the subject)

http://www.physorg.com/news10824.html

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0607.html?CFID=2981723&CFTOKEN=64669719

And this little article mathematically suggests that women put out more then men. (Don't believe me? Do the math according to their logic...5 men and 100 women. Assuming each man slept with each woman, then all five guys would have 100 sexual partners while the women would only have 5.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/weekinreview/12kolata.html

Ingest at your own risk.

It has been a wild couple of days. It really should begin with a “No shit, there I was”…but unfortunately my story is too pathetic to be funny.

 

Wednesday morning, I drive out to Selmer TN to teach a class and I get there at 8am like I was told. Only to find out class doesn’t start until after 9am. Thanks.

 

As I am leaving there to go back home I am told I need to go to another town, an hour away in the opposite direction from home, and setup a router. Thanks.

 

I finally leave my surprise visit and begin to head back home when I get a call from the office. “While you are out there, can you go to Martin and fix a scanner issue?”. I turned it down and headed back home. Thanks.

 

On my way home, about 15 miles outside of Memphis, on I-40, my Jeep decided to overheat and blow a hose, leaving me stranded on the side of the road. Thanks.

 

 

momtothefey comes out to get me and I grab everything out of the Jeep and load it into her car. We go home and I begin looking for a new car and a tow truck. Found the car, but decided to fix the Jeep myself.  The following morning, Thursday, I buy the parts and head back out in my new car to repair my Jeep. I get to where the Jeep is supposed to be and it is gone. Thanks.

 

 

I call the TN Highway Patrol and they said they had it towed to Arlington. Thanks.

 

I call the wrecker and he tells me it will cost $125 to get my Jeep back and that it had been broken into on the interstate and the dash had been ripped out, stereo gone. Thanks.

 

I finally get it towed to a local repair shop and they now have it up and running…badly, but running. Thanks.

 

I am on my way soon to pick it up and decide what I am going to do with it.

 

The amount of details I left out is astonishing…suffice it to say, I have had a pretty shitty couple of days.

 

I would like to thank

inkygrrl, marius_98 and thegreenyear for cheering me up last night at the Saucer. Good times people , good times.

 

I am the mood for a drastic change. Every time I get complacent or depressed, I usually shave my head. This time I think I will try to cut my hair short, but still allow it to be versatile. No, I am not really sure what that means. What I do know is that I need to make a change...and my hair is usually the first victim.

I new tattoo would be cool. I should go that route as well.

But first, I need to chop off my hair. I wish I could grow it long on top and shave the sides, but work frowns on freedom of expression involving my image, therefore, I have to "fake" a respectable look.

I have insomnia right now. Some things have happened recently that have left me wide awake and over analyzing everything.

 

This is a bad time for me. I tend to become too analytical and fuck things up because of it.

 

The more time I have to think, the more likely I will be to fuck things up again.

 

….I hate when this happens. Ignorance truly is bliss.

I think I have finally convinced myself to stop doing the live sex shows on Yahoo unless the other person has a web camera and I can see that they are enjoying themselves.

At first it was kind of fun knowing that someone (or others) were watching me have sex, but now I think I need a little more. I want to be able to see them as well...I want to see that they are truly enjoying themselves.

I never realized that would become important to me.

I am already aware that not many people have webcams and so this will drastically cut down the number of shows I do. But I think it may be worth it.